Is it better to love in your own way or in society's way? Loving in your own way can result in a lot of loneliness, for if you are so immovable in the way you treat people, it can chase people away; however, loving in society's way can also result in a lot of loneliness, too, because, while you may still have people flocking to you, you would probably never be completely satisfied inside, since you would be a product of your environment when you should be learning to live for yourself. It's hard for me to choose either way, but, luckily, many things are never completely black and white and there's some gray area.
I know I posted this on Facebook not too long ago, but I really like it: If you wish to touch the fingertips of love, rather than conforming to the way society feels you have to love, love in your own way and on your own terms; if you want to move past the fingertips of love, to caress and embrace, you must compromise a little: you must find the one you are meant to be with, discover their terms, and then try to fulfill them--it's about loving in eachother's way, together. After watcing Citizen Kane (which is apparently one of the best films ever made according to the film gods), I was inspired to write that, because, even though I much dislike the idea of conforming, I decided a little conformity is necessary, but, when dealing with love, on a small scale and with the one you are meant to be with; it's okay to love them the way they want to be loved in some ways without giving up who you are.
I feel kind of alone lately. Which, then again, I don't know why I say lately because it's really nothing new. Someone can have a mass amount of people surrounding them or have very few he or she knows at all, but it's what goes on inside that birthes loneliness. For me, it's like there's so many things working, yearning and churning inside and sometimes I wish I could just pull them out, but it seems to always be that I either don't feel like the person would understand or it seems like they wouldn't care to understand. Plus, no one really asks and it would seem absurd to just randomly walk up to someone and dump out everything when they weren't really expecting it. On the other hand, sometimes I don't really have anything to say, but it sounds nice having a constant. I guess I do have a few constants, though, and that's my family. I remember that, when I was younger, it would always be that I would go to my friends with my problems and always seek their advice, but I rarely do that now; it has become for frequent that I go to my parents. I just feel like my parents have more experience and would be better at helping me overcome anything I am going through; most of my friends have just about the same experience as me, or less, and could not offer me any words that I wouldn't have already thought of.
Do you know what I've realized more and more as I've gotten older? No one can make you upset, but you. It's funny, because it's hard to really believe that some of the words people say can truly not have an effect on you, especially if they are harsh, but it's just a matter of growing thicker skin. Though it's hard, it's beautiful in a way, because it means that none of us have to always be swayed by our environment. But, with that, comes individual responsibility; it's easy to blame others for the way we are feeling, but, when we recognize that it's our choice to allow them to move us, then all the blame should really fall on ourselves. It's, of course, easier said than done, but it makes me happy, knowing that I can choose, because I've realized that some people don't care or feel bad about outwardly throwing dirt on the things that I hold most precious and it's comforting to know that I can hold my ground in spite of that.
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