Diverted

In addition to having sore thighs and a huge bruise on my left elbow, going boating at the lake today with Nicole Rose provided me with a lot of inner freedom and peace; it's interesting that I could be hurting my body so good yet clearing and rejuvenating my mind at the same time. It's kind of an oxymoron. The tube Nicole and I went on was really hard to stay on, probably mostly because it was small, we were on our stomachs and we had just put on tanning lotion, which made us super slippery! I'm pretty sure I fell off the most; not sure why that happened. I also knee boarded for my second time and it made me happy that I was able to get up all three times that I tried. However, though I really enjoyed all the adrenaline of tubing and knee boarding, I think my favorite part was just sitting in the boat and making laps around the lake; there's something about the wind in my face and the sparkle in the water from the sun hitting it just right that is so diverting. It's like all my worries and all the things that were bothering me just whisked away with the air passing by--and it still hasn't come back to haunt me. I'm just really happy right now, and I haven't been able to say that for awhile. I think a big part of feeling happy again has to do with experiencing all of today with such a great friend, too; Nicole and I tried going tubing separately, but I know I soon realized that it was much nicer screaming and laughing and almost dying when you're next to someone, even if it did make the tube a little more squishy.

Today, as I was writing in my journal, something hit me: Why hold on to someone who leaves you feeling unhappy and unsatisfied after almost every time you try communicating with them? I understand that there are sometimes exceptions to that, like with a spouse or family member, but it just doesn't make sense to put yourself through a milder version of hell for someone who isn't going to be there long term, who, on top of that, really sucks at even being there short term. It's better to just cut your losses and move on sometimes, no matter how beautiful or invigorating the past may be.

Oh, today I also realized that you shouldn't just toss a grape in your mouth. Why you ask? Well, it just doesn't taste as good that way; the best way to eat a grape is to carefully peel off the skin with your teeth and then toss the grape in your mouth. I'm sure that you're a lot better off now that you know that information.

Want to know who is one of the best people I know? My younger sister Cheyenne. When I think of someone perfect, she immediately comes to mind; I deeply appreciate her raw goodness, her constant smile and so many other things that words could never do her justice. Years ago, though we've always loved each other, our relationship wasn't so good; however, I love the unique relationship we have now and how I can consider her one of my best friends. It's not like we constantly are having deep, long conversations together, but I can say with the utmost conviction that some of the most precious moments to me are the memories of her and I staying up late (on school nights when we really needed to go to bed) and simply just talking.

Well, speaking of Cheyenne, her and I are about to watch Phantom of the Opera, so I guess I'm done for tonight :)